So, I've seen many girls out there doing this sort of tag, and their takes and outlooks on being plus size. I decided to share my experiences, which I hope can have an effect on somebody one day, like the many effects of reading these from other girls out there that i've gotten. Here we go...
Plus size. Big. Call it what you want. You can either choose two ways of looking at this in my opinion. As a positive outlook, or a negative one. Being plus size has been hard for me. But then again, any other girl out there, teen or older, knows what i'm talking about. It's never easy being bigger than the average girl. It's never easy getting guys. It's never easy being yourself. Unless you've always been confident with your body, every women out there has a story on how she became a confident, proud female, not only for the plus size women out there, but for any girl of any size.
I was not always a bigger girl. I used to be skinny as a kid. But as I grew older, I gained. I'm going to guess it's probably my own fault, but that's besides the point. I never really made a big deal out of it throughout grade school because no one really ever said anything to me about my weight. But obviously, eventually I started to notice that boys werent exactly interested in me, and I guess that also had to do with the fact that I was shy, but you know, there's always many reasons. I had a small group of friends, and there was always romantic interest between some people within this, but never me. I was pretty much not dateable, I guess, in most people's eyes. There were many, many points where all of my friends had relationships, and I felt like nothing, because no one ever wanted to date or look at "bigger girls", whether or not I had a great personality. It was definitely a bad feeling.
You know, by high school, everyone starts getting shallow and superficial and if your not molded into this specific "skinny, pretty, proportioned, perfect" girl bubble, you were nothing. It's so, so very rare the find decent guys in high school, trust me on this. I've been lucky to find a couple. But take my word. A couple. That's all. It takes only a few special people who don't have that shallow attitude to show you that yes, a lot of people out there judge solely on looks, but, there are also boys, girls, people, whoever, who don't. You just have to find them. And keep it mind, it's rare in high school.
I was not always a bigger girl. I used to be skinny as a kid. But as I grew older, I gained. I'm going to guess it's probably my own fault, but that's besides the point. I never really made a big deal out of it throughout grade school because no one really ever said anything to me about my weight. But obviously, eventually I started to notice that boys werent exactly interested in me, and I guess that also had to do with the fact that I was shy, but you know, there's always many reasons. I had a small group of friends, and there was always romantic interest between some people within this, but never me. I was pretty much not dateable, I guess, in most people's eyes. There were many, many points where all of my friends had relationships, and I felt like nothing, because no one ever wanted to date or look at "bigger girls", whether or not I had a great personality. It was definitely a bad feeling.
You know, by high school, everyone starts getting shallow and superficial and if your not molded into this specific "skinny, pretty, proportioned, perfect" girl bubble, you were nothing. It's so, so very rare the find decent guys in high school, trust me on this. I've been lucky to find a couple. But take my word. A couple. That's all. It takes only a few special people who don't have that shallow attitude to show you that yes, a lot of people out there judge solely on looks, but, there are also boys, girls, people, whoever, who don't. You just have to find them. And keep it mind, it's rare in high school.
So from that point on, I started getting more aware of the fact that I wasn't like other girls in the body sense. No, I wasn't skinny, I didn't have perfect hair, makeup, hell, I don't even have perfect eyes. But, I still maintained a pretty good feeling, until many guys came along and always compared me to other girls, saying they couldn't date "big girls". These people? Not worth your time. Perfect examples.
The thing you have to realize is, is that as a plus size girl, you need to be aware of the major nasty people out there. If someone does NOT appreciate you for you, you have to walk away. Forget them. Do not, please; don't waste your time on someone who can't accept you for who you are. If someone can't accept every part of you, they aren't worth your time. That's all I can say. Be careful, not just for us bigger girls, but for any women quite obviously. Putting yourself through that constant emotional heartbreak is torturous, and pointless. Move on, and find someone better. They are out there. I promise you that.
At some point, some girls just sort of start to accept it, and believe that they are worthless, and that no guy would ever like them for themselves. I personally thought that the world was full of shallow people, who based just on looks. I just sort of assumed that all that stuff about there being guys out there who were different were just non existent at this age. After seeing so much completely degrading things like Jersey Shore, and magazines, and tv shows, and music videos, you can start to feel hopeless. Finding dates, boyfriends, relationhips, are all so hard for bigger girls. It's just not mainstream, so anything that isn't is always marginized. Trust me, I don't enjoy following mainstream, and I like unique, happy, confident people who just act like themselves, and go along with what they like. You know, the outspoken, great people who accept everyone. I've always have looked upto these people. ESPECIALLY, teenage ones. We all know how hard it is to be a teenager.
After dealing with so many idiots, I promised myself to only date the guys I knew were of worth to me, were great people, had good values, among other things. And trust me, it's hard to find a guy with those similar values to me nowadays. You know, the ones who don't smoke, party, act like someone their not, and obviously to the point, didn't care that I was bigger! Basically, I was looking for someone who based on personality. The only valuable thing in a human being. The soul. Needless to say, I can now say that those guys really do exist.
Overall, I guess you can say that although I haven't had a lot of DATING experience as a plus size girl, I've had a lot of experience with being one all together. I've had a lot of thoughts going through my mind, figuring out what I want, and realizing that I am of worth, and that I'm beautiful in my own way. Like any other girl, I've cried many times over guys who took me for granted, lied, and didn't turn out to be who I thought they were. Like any other girl, I've felt worthless, and like no one would ever appreciate me, for me. Like any other girl, I've experienced the feeling of wanting to be a different person, of wanting to be considered "pretty". With a world filled with constant superficial attitudes towards human beings, I've had to learn to deal. Deal with the fact that not all people will appreciate you for you, whoever you are, however you are. The important thing to realize, is that you are beautiful, you are worthful, you are wanted, you are loved, you are needed, and you are a human being. Yes, being plus size has had it's difficulties, but overall, I'm not changing myself for other people. I feel as if I shouldn't have too. Unless I want to do it for myself, to be healthier, or whatever it may be, someone out there has to learn to love me for who I am, because this is me. So take me or leave me, because regardless of who you are, you should be appreciated for the way you are, and I promise, that there is.. someone out there for everyone.
Remember, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder".
Trust me there is someone for everyone :) I was 16 and in the same spot as you...it does get better especially once you leave high school. I never I was 18...and we're still together. Keep your chin up :)
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